The New Hotness

I must say, my new hot pink bracelet looks mighty fine, and funny enough, it gives me an extra spring in my step. Why you ask?

Because it's a visual representation of the fact that I LOST.5.POUNDS. That after months of trying, I somehow-someway got my little act together and said that enough was enough. I was done being fat and miserable!

Whenever I felt myself slipping, or feeling down on myself-I just look down and and I'm reminded that even thought I'm at the beginning of this journey....there is progress. :)

This weekend though, will be my biggest challenge. Halloween and all it's candy. I think I'll just have to keep it locked up somewhere, so I can ration it like some miser. LOLOLOL! I already feel like I have to be on the treadmill 24/7, so I'm sure candy isn't going to help that feeling one bit.

I have been able to increase my exercising this week, which is better than it was-but I still know there is room for improvement. But rather than looking at it in a bad way, I'm choosing to call it a NSV, and just being happy with what I CAN do. Speaking of exercising-I don't know if I'll be doing as much walking tomorrow evening as I had planned. We were going to go to Boo Zoo tomorrow night but that might be changing. (Dear Son1 came down with a 103 fever and headache in the middle of the night last night) If we don't, I'll make sure I get some treadmill time in before dark. Who knows though. For all I know I might be up all night with a puking kid.

I'm really quite surprised at myself lately. I'm actually CRAVING exercising. I don't know if it's because I'm really bored at work so I need to get that energy out, or what. It seems like if I don't do something-I get twitchy. That's a good thing right? :)

Before I end this, I want to thank two lovely ladies for this award:



This means a lot to me, so a big HUGE thank you to Salina and Mommy2Joe for thinking of me. I'm not going to name any blogs right now, because between the both of them-they got them all. What that means though, is that I'm sure I'll follow/find many other great blogs and will pass them along as I move on my journey!

MUAHAHAHAHA!

Guess who got her hot pink bracelet today?


MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


Sorry, just had to get that out. LOL

Blah, Blah, Blah

Whoa, did that week go quickly huh?

Usually I try to blog a couple of times a week, but for some reason I didn't last week. It wasn't because of my non weight loss the week before, (I figured it out, Hello Aunty! ;) ) but because of something else.

Heck if I know what that "something else" was. I do know that I had some HUGE non scale victories...the biggest of which was being able to do all but one running interval in my c25k program. Talk about HUGE!! I about cried, I was so happy. The others weren't as huge as that, but each one brings me closer to preventing this happening to me again.

This week there has been little movement in the weight department, mere ounces. And that's ok, it's what I expected after last week. You get out of it what you put into it...and I can't say I put much into it. This week is different...I'm back to journaling my food again, and I plan on doing at least 2-3 c25k sessions on the treadmill. Plus I'll be doing a TON of walking on Sat! :D

Last night at belly dance, we talked costumes again. And again I looked at myself in the mirror and vowed I'd have a waist.....because after all who wants to see a fat belly dancer? Not I, and I still can't quite watch myself even dance yet. Anyway, what I'm getting at is that is that it lit a fire under my butt (again)...and whatever it was that happened last week, is not what's happening this week.

And that's a good thing. ;)

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This week is grocery week, and lately it's been so hard to pick out what I want for dinners, lunches, and food. EVERYTHING looks good, EVERTHING looks yummy.....and it's hard to pick and choose what I need to fill my body up with. Sometimes it seems so hard to plan the "right" things and sometimes it seems so overwhelming.

So I'm off to plan my food....and hope it doesn't send me searching for snacks. I've been a hungry gal lately!

A Watched Pot

Funny how you can be sooo close to something, yet never seem to get there. That's where I am right now. I'm so close to loosing my first 5 pounds, that I can taste it. But you see, that's half the problem.

Now may people have different ways of weighing in and keeping track. Right now I happen to weigh in on Mon, Wed, Fri-this way I can kind of keep track of what I'm doing and to make sure I'm going down the right path. It's more for reassurance really, but also to show myself that I'm really doing it. I've felt that the past few times I've started and stopped and somehow I'm afraid of failure this time. (And yes I do know my weight will fluctuate, and this rant isn't about that-it's about me being too eager. Waaaaayy too eager.)

Somehow I thought week 2 would be easier. LOL

Monday I weigh myself (official weigh in) and I'm down 4. Wednesday I weight myself and I'm up a bit (ounces really-pittance). Today I weigh in (after telling myself I wasn't going to do it) because I worked out last night and thought for SURE I'd be 228 so I could give myself that darn HOT PINK BRACELET.......

nope.

dang it.

Sooooo, one of two things are going to happen. Either I'll actually just maintain this week, since I had such a big drop last week (a la Biggest Loser wk 2) or I'm actually just getting ready to drop some weight because I've been the same consistent weight the past 4 days.

Isn't the suspense amazing?

I think I'd need to bust out the low fat buttered popcorn.

I know this is not a race, I know it takes time....and this post was more of a "poke fun at myself" kind of thing, rather than a real rant. Those will come soon enough I'm sure. So for now I'm sitting back, laughing and dreaming about hot pink jelly bracelets. LOLOLOL

Week 1 Wrap Up.

What a week Week 1 was. Ready for my official weigh in? (drumroll please......)

Starting Weight: 233
End of week 1: 229

I lost 4 POUNDS! WEEEEEE!

How awesome is that?

All in all I'm pretty shocked. I've never lost that much in a week except maybe the first week of Weight Watchers nearly 10 years ago. What makes it even more interesting to me is that I followed my calories (according to the app I have on my iPod), and even had a "free" day and I was still able to keep it together. Now I know that doesn't sound like I'm giving myself enough credit, but hey week 1 is always the hardest!

My most proud non scale victory this past weekend was the fact I didn't give in to emotional eating. My Grandmother had a small stroke, and was admitted to the Hospital early Sat morning. I controlled my eating somewhat all day (grabbed some healthy snacks at the gas station plus some water on the way with my Mom) and didn't binge eat when we finally sat down for our evening meal later on that day. In fact I was worried I had eaten too much. I had not, but how interesting to be worried about it. I never would of been before, I would of told myself I deserved it after such a rough day or justified it some other way.

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Do you know how hard it is to find a decent 2x belt (or even to find a 2x belt)? I might as well been on a pilgrimage to a long lost grotto, yet there it was, right there in front of me on Friday night. I didn't hesitate, and snatched that baby up as quickly as I could. The good thing is that I'm only on the first slot, so I'll get a lot of use out of the belt before I have to move down to a smaller belt/size/whatever.

Belly Dancing class went well last night. I'm finally feeling like I'm getting it together, meaning being able to move my upper body separately from lower body. I'm also feeling better over all about the class. Last night I didn't think about quitting once (even during the tummy crunches warm up), and if anything each class drives me back to my vow of having a waist again. :)

Today is a day of rest for me (usually pretty sore after dancing) but tomorrow you'll find me up at O'dark 40 doing some interval training on the Treadmill. I hope to go 15 minutes and walk the rest, but we'll have to see. I've got a bit of a cold, and may be coughing too much to do much running. Don't feel like hacking up a lung, so I might just have to tone down the exercising a bit. It's that time of year folks. Blech!

If you noticed, I've tweaked my goals and rewards a bit. Do you remember those jelly bracelets you wore a long time ago? Well in case you didn't notice-they are back. I totally remember rocking them back in the day. I found a pack at Wal Mart, and decided to do like Weight Watchers and give myself something "visual" for each 5 pounds lost. That way I can wear the bracelets, know what colors stand for how many pounds lost (I haven't decided, I need to soon though), and use it to motivate me. It's not a bookmark or stars, but it's a good substitution!

Holy Cow

Unofficial weigh in: 230
Unofficial weight loss: 3

SWAEEET!

Now I know it's not weigh in day, but I just had to check and see how the changes I've made so far this week were doing. SQUEEEEEE!!!!

What even makes me happier is that I'm proud to say that today is the first day I'm really struggling with the munchies....which I know is totally in my head because I ate my oatmeal with Flax seed meal. There is no getting hungry after that, there just isn't. LOL

This week I also took some time to try to determine how I was going to fit workouts into my day to day life. I have 2 children under age 7, so needless to say-I'm always in demand.

You would be soooo proud of me though, Wed morning I got up at 4:30 am and proceeded to do 12 min of interval training (walk 60 seconds, run 90 seconds) and walked the rest of the time. I did my cool down, took my shower and got out right when I needed to. Now I just have to decide which works better. I have a feeling the mornings will be it for a little while, now that I know the sound of my running doesn't wake the boys up. ( The treadmill is in the playroom under their room.)

Now all I have to do is keep it up!

I WILL have a waist....really.

Last night at belly dancing class I found out that we will be doing a recital. Greeeaaattt. I didn't know whether to cry or be happy.

See I'm the heaviest in the class, and I am the "roundest" person in the class. Both don't do much for my self esteem, but I tell myself I'm doing something fun for me.But now I'm not (sort of). I've got to prepare myself for doing it in front of a crowd. (gosh that sounded um, bad... LOL).

Good thing I started on my diet plan last night, because after the sit ups-I vowed to have a waist line before May. But that was only after I thought of quitting. I don't know exactly why that popped into my mind. Did I feel that bad about myself and the whole situation? Was it because I was trying to move my body the way it needed to go and the fat got in the way?

Erg...I don't know.

But I know this, I'm not letting myself quit. I'm not going back to my quitting ways. I'm facing up to it and going strong, whether I have full confidence or not. By stiffness/soreness after every class proves that I'm doing things I've not done in awhile, and I'm not ready to give that up.

What made me really proud of myself yesterday was I identified a point when I was willing to eat through an emotion rather than feel it. I got home from dance semi-upset, and started to think I was "hungry", which seemed strange because I added ground flax seed to my morning oatmeal and barely felt hungry all day. (My GOSH that stays with you. SHEESH!) So I took my shower to think on it, and it was only after that and a quick tour of the Kitchen (nothing looked good) that I decided I was feeling edgy because of dancing, not actually being hungry. It's these little breakthroughs that make me feel hopeful for the future.

If I can't master feeling my emotions rather than eating them, I'll never stay a skinny gal once I get there. I now know that much about myself. Knowing your issues is half the battle, right?

Tonight I think I'll do some Yoga and stretch out all the muscles that are sore. I don't think I'll do the whole workout, maybe just some stretches with the Wii Fit. That way the little scale can yell at me. :) :)

It's Monday...Again.

Starting Weight: 233

I was pretty bummed out this morning when I weighed in. Friday morning I was actually down to 231, so I had high hopes that it would slide on over to the "official" day.

No dice.

It made sense really, as we went to my husband's college homecoming game on Sat-and along with that came a bunch of fair type food (cheese curds, mini donuts, etc). I tried to be good, but the little devil on my shoulder whispered in my ear that I wasn't really "starting" this diet change until today.

Ohhh that mean nasty little devil. LOL Actually I'm not upset about it, and that's a good thing. A year of therapy is helping!

I spent the day yesterday baking up a storm. I made my first apple pie, and I also made these really yummy low fat pumpkin spice muffins. Those are soo good, both of my children want to gobble them up. The muffins are hiding in the freezer, so hopefully I'll manage to eat a few before they are all gone.

Also new to me this week is Flaxseed. I added some to my morning oatmeal, and other than needing to add a little bit of sugar to sweeten it up, I liked it. Gooooo Me!