Week 1 Wrap Up.

What a week Week 1 was. Ready for my official weigh in? (drumroll please......)

Starting Weight: 233
End of week 1: 229

I lost 4 POUNDS! WEEEEEE!

How awesome is that?

All in all I'm pretty shocked. I've never lost that much in a week except maybe the first week of Weight Watchers nearly 10 years ago. What makes it even more interesting to me is that I followed my calories (according to the app I have on my iPod), and even had a "free" day and I was still able to keep it together. Now I know that doesn't sound like I'm giving myself enough credit, but hey week 1 is always the hardest!

My most proud non scale victory this past weekend was the fact I didn't give in to emotional eating. My Grandmother had a small stroke, and was admitted to the Hospital early Sat morning. I controlled my eating somewhat all day (grabbed some healthy snacks at the gas station plus some water on the way with my Mom) and didn't binge eat when we finally sat down for our evening meal later on that day. In fact I was worried I had eaten too much. I had not, but how interesting to be worried about it. I never would of been before, I would of told myself I deserved it after such a rough day or justified it some other way.

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Do you know how hard it is to find a decent 2x belt (or even to find a 2x belt)? I might as well been on a pilgrimage to a long lost grotto, yet there it was, right there in front of me on Friday night. I didn't hesitate, and snatched that baby up as quickly as I could. The good thing is that I'm only on the first slot, so I'll get a lot of use out of the belt before I have to move down to a smaller belt/size/whatever.

Belly Dancing class went well last night. I'm finally feeling like I'm getting it together, meaning being able to move my upper body separately from lower body. I'm also feeling better over all about the class. Last night I didn't think about quitting once (even during the tummy crunches warm up), and if anything each class drives me back to my vow of having a waist again. :)

Today is a day of rest for me (usually pretty sore after dancing) but tomorrow you'll find me up at O'dark 40 doing some interval training on the Treadmill. I hope to go 15 minutes and walk the rest, but we'll have to see. I've got a bit of a cold, and may be coughing too much to do much running. Don't feel like hacking up a lung, so I might just have to tone down the exercising a bit. It's that time of year folks. Blech!

If you noticed, I've tweaked my goals and rewards a bit. Do you remember those jelly bracelets you wore a long time ago? Well in case you didn't notice-they are back. I totally remember rocking them back in the day. I found a pack at Wal Mart, and decided to do like Weight Watchers and give myself something "visual" for each 5 pounds lost. That way I can wear the bracelets, know what colors stand for how many pounds lost (I haven't decided, I need to soon though), and use it to motivate me. It's not a bookmark or stars, but it's a good substitution!

I WILL have a waist....really.

Last night at belly dancing class I found out that we will be doing a recital. Greeeaaattt. I didn't know whether to cry or be happy.

See I'm the heaviest in the class, and I am the "roundest" person in the class. Both don't do much for my self esteem, but I tell myself I'm doing something fun for me.But now I'm not (sort of). I've got to prepare myself for doing it in front of a crowd. (gosh that sounded um, bad... LOL).

Good thing I started on my diet plan last night, because after the sit ups-I vowed to have a waist line before May. But that was only after I thought of quitting. I don't know exactly why that popped into my mind. Did I feel that bad about myself and the whole situation? Was it because I was trying to move my body the way it needed to go and the fat got in the way?

Erg...I don't know.

But I know this, I'm not letting myself quit. I'm not going back to my quitting ways. I'm facing up to it and going strong, whether I have full confidence or not. By stiffness/soreness after every class proves that I'm doing things I've not done in awhile, and I'm not ready to give that up.

What made me really proud of myself yesterday was I identified a point when I was willing to eat through an emotion rather than feel it. I got home from dance semi-upset, and started to think I was "hungry", which seemed strange because I added ground flax seed to my morning oatmeal and barely felt hungry all day. (My GOSH that stays with you. SHEESH!) So I took my shower to think on it, and it was only after that and a quick tour of the Kitchen (nothing looked good) that I decided I was feeling edgy because of dancing, not actually being hungry. It's these little breakthroughs that make me feel hopeful for the future.

If I can't master feeling my emotions rather than eating them, I'll never stay a skinny gal once I get there. I now know that much about myself. Knowing your issues is half the battle, right?

Tonight I think I'll do some Yoga and stretch out all the muscles that are sore. I don't think I'll do the whole workout, maybe just some stretches with the Wii Fit. That way the little scale can yell at me. :) :)